All That's Left
by JustMe133
Summary: Something's wrong with Ethan, and Benny will do anything to find out what's wrong with his best friend. How will he feel when he finds out the truth? Rated T for possible boy-boy pairing. Enjoy.
1. Avoiding You

**Okay so I was feeling depressed when I started this and this is what came out but I'm hoping it'll be good in the end. If this one has some BETHAN romance in it we'll just have to wait and see won't we? Thanks for reading!**

**And like another one of my stories, not too crazy about the title, but I think it fits … in a weird, only in my mind, way.**

**I, in no way, own MBAV or its characters.**

…

**Ethan's POV:**

Late to class again, I think to myself as I close my locker. I had been late all week. On purpose of course. Personally, I hated being late, but it had to be done. I had to avoid _him_. My best friend, my other half, Benny Weir. Don't get me wrong, like I said he's my best friend. I would do anything for that boy, but I'm dealing with something and I need to do it by myself, hence all the avoiding. He just wouldn't understand. I can't help but wince as I pull down the sleeves of my jacket over my wrists, making sure they're covered. I just shake my head and slowly walk to class.

"Late again Mr. Morgan," the teacher says. I just nod and sit down in my seat, which was in between Rory and Benny. I can feel them staring at me but I just stare at my notebook in front of me, not looking at them. I keep to myself until I see a note appear on the corner of my desk. I glance up at the teacher, making sure he's not looking before I open the note. _You okay? _I recognize Benny's slanted, messy handwriting. I quickly write out _of course, why wouldn't I be_? and slide the note back onto his desk. I see out of the corner of my eye him reading it, a frown on his face. I see him look at me but I don't look back. I hear the bell ring and slowly grab my stuff. I stand up and head to the door where Benny and Rory are waiting for me before the teacher calls my name.

"Mr. Morgan, come here please." I sigh as I head to his desk.

"Yes sir?"

"Mr. Morgan, you've been late every day this week. Why?"

"No reason. Just get caught up at my locker."

"Well, I'm giving you detention today. Hopefully this tardiness will change by next week. You may leave now," he says handing me the detention slip. I just nod and walk out of the classroom where Benny and Rory were waiting.

"Detention huh?" Rory asks sympathetically.

"Dude, ever heard of privacy? Seriously," I say, walking away from them. I sigh as I feel someone walk in step with me. Benny. Of course it's him.

"E, why are you avoiding me?" I subconsciously pull down the sleeves of my jacket before looking at him.

"You're my best friend. Why would I be avoiding you?"

"That's why I'm asking."

"Well I'm not. Now I gotta get to class. See you later." I quickly walk away, not looking at him anymore.

…

The rest of the day went by fairly quickly for me. Now I'm heading towards detention. At least I can finally be away from Benny's curious green eyes. As I open the door to detention I frown when I see the room is only occupied by two people: the teacher and Benny. I quickly hand the teacher my slip and sit in a seat away from my best friend.

"Alright boys, you're the only two for today. If you don't mind, I need to run to the teacher's lounge. Don't do anything bad." With that, the teacher left the room, leaving me and Benny in silence. I can't help but fidget as I feel him stare at me. Finally I turn around.

"How'd you get detention?"

"I kicked the teacher's chair from underneath him. I figured the only way for me to get your attention is if we were alone together."

"So you get yourself sent to detention? Dude!"

"Ethan," Benny says, moving into the seat next to me, causing me to fidget some more, "What's wrong? I can tell you're hiding something from me. We're best friends. We tell each other everything. But you're hiding something. Let me help you." I just sit there silently. I can't answer him. I just shake my head and turn to face the front of the room. I hear him sigh before I hear him stand up. I close my eyes for a moment, enjoying the peace until I feel him wrap his arms around me in a hug.

"What the? Benny, why are you hugging me?" I squeak out as shock runs through my system.

"Because you're my best friend and you look like you could use a hug. I want you to know I won't force you into telling me what's wrong, but I'll be here when you're ready to talk. I'm always here E, promise." With that, he walked back to his original seat. I can't help but begin to twitch slightly. I hear him sigh and know he's noticed. I force myself to stop moving and lay my head on the desk, waiting for detention to be over.


	2. What Happened To You?

Finally home. I smile for the first time that day. I run to my room and close the door, shrugging out of my jacket. I wince as the material runs over my arms. I sigh as I pull off my shirt and go to grab a long sleeved shirt from my closet. Before I pull it on I look at my shirtless self in the mirror. I can't help but frown at my reflection. I stand there and stare at myself for I don't know how long. I only turn when I hear a gasp behind me. I turn around and sigh when I see who's behind me.

"Ethan, what happened to you?" Benny asks, eyes wide with shock and … fear? I quickly shake my head and pull on the shirt in my hands.

"Benny, how'd you get in my house? Why are you here?"

"Jane let me in. I came to see if you wanted to watch this new movie I got. What happened to you E?" he asks, walking towards me. I back up until my back hits the wall behind me. He's right in front of me. I just shake my head and suck my lips in, avoiding his eyes. "Ethan." He grabs my face so I'll look him. "What happened?" he asks through clenched teeth. I sigh before shaking my head.

"Nothing happened to me."

"Then explain what I just saw!"

"You saw nothing. I don't know what you're talking about."

"Ethan," he growled out before pinning me even closer to the wall, close enough our bodies were almost touching. "Don't make me rip your shirt off and show you what I saw!" with that he begins to pull at the bottom of my shirt. I attempt to push his hands away but he grabs my hands and holds them hostage in one of his own. "Being taller than you does have its advantages sometimes," he says, a smirk on his lips. All I do is glare at him.

"Benny, let me go. You saw nothing," I say, glaring at him some more.

"Nope. Not gonna happen until you tell me what's wrong and what happened." I shake my head before speaking.

"You said you wouldn't force me into telling you." I say it so quietly I don't think he hears me until his hands fall to his sides. He frowns at me before turning around and plopping on my bed.

"You're right. I did say that. Okay then, I'll ask nicely. Ethan, will you please tell me what happened?" he looks at me, pleading with his eyes. I sigh before sitting next to him.

"How about we watch that movie first? Please?" He just nods and looks at me.

"Can we watch it in here? We can just hang out together. We don't need to bother your family." I can't stop the slight smile that comes to my lips, which causes him to smile a big, goofy, Benny smile at me. I nod before kicking off my shoes and settling into a comfy position on my bed, leaving enough room for Benny to sit next to me if he wants to. Which he does. Correction. He flops down next to me with so much enthusiasm I almost fall off the bed, and would have if he hadn't caught me from falling. I try my best not to wince at his grip on my arm. I don't think he notices thankfully. We settle next to each other and watch the movie.

…

**Benny's POV:**

I turn to face Ethan once the movie was over. He had been quiet the whole time. As I look at him I see why. He's asleep, head on my shoulder. I can't stop the small smile that comes to my lips as I look at him. He looks really calm for once. He had seemed so tense and distant lately and I was beginning to think something was wrong with him. And after what I saw earlier … well, I'm even more worried about him now. I can't help but notice how pale he looks. I gently lean over and grab the bottom of his shirt, barely raising it and seeing what I noticed earlier. A frown crosses my face before I put his shirt back to where it was. I gently shake him. He mumbles something and looks at me.

"Benny?"

"Hey E, you fell asleep while we were watching the movie."

"Oh I'm sorry Benny. I haven't been sleeping well."

"It's fine. Want me to leave?" I can see the conflict in his eyes as he debates with himself. Finally he shakes his head.

"No. Stay. We haven't really hung out this last week. Let me make it up to you." I smile at him before nodding. "Wanna play a game?" I just nod again and he gets up, stretching. I notice his shirt rides up some and I catch a glimpse of his stomach area and I frown some more. I quickly mask it with a smile before he notices. I join him for a game on his computer, neither of us really talking.

…

"Boys, Sarah's here!" Ethan's mom calls up to us. I look at Ethan to see him looking even paler. He looks at me and smiles.

"Wanna go say hi to Sarah?" he asks me. I just nod and we get up and leave his room. Before we can go downstairs I grab him and hug him. He tenses at first but then calms some and even wraps his arms back around me. A muffled "thank you" slips from him before he pulls away.

"I'm always here Ethan. Remember that."

"I know. Can you do me a favor?"

"Anything E."

"Don't tell anyone what you saw earlier. And I know I owe you an explanation and I'll give you one. Not yet though. Just please. Don't tell anyone." I hear the pleading and need for me to understand him in his voice. I can't help but agree with him.

"I won't tell anybody. But you will tell me what happened right?" he nods before heading down the stairs, me right behind him. When we get to the kitchen we go our separate ways; Ethan goes to say bye to his parents while I say hi to Sarah.

"Hey king doofus, where's Ethan?" she says, smiling at me. I just smile back and shake my head.

"Watch it Sarah, you're beginning to sound like Erica there. And Ethan's saying bye to his parents with Jane."

"Okay. And sorry."

"Nah its fine Sarah I don't care. You know that."

"Yep I do. Hey Ethan!" she says as he comes to stand up next to me. I notice he slouches against me some. I look at her to see her distracted by Jane so I put my arm around his waist, hoisting him up some.

"Ethan! Are you okay?" I whisper to him. He looks at me, a pained look in his eyes. A quick shake of his head and I pull him towards the bathroom. I shove him in and soon follow, closing and locking the door behind us. "Ethan. What's wrong?" He sits down on the floor, his back leaning against the tub. I sit next to him and just stare at him. He finally looks at me.

"Benny," he says, voice laced with pain. "I'm sorry."

"Ethan, you have nothing to be sorry for."

"Yes I do. I need to apologize for this and tell you why," he says, taking off his shirt.


	3. Let Me Help

**Ethan's POV: **

I watch as Benny's mouth opens and closes, eyes wide. He only saw the reflection earlier now he's looking straight at it. And I can see that fear in his eyes again. I wish I could think of a better way to explain this, but there isn't.

"You're going to tell me what happened now?"

"Nothing happened really … I mean, nothing caused these. I'm not being abused if that's what you're thinking …" my voice trails off as I see it click in his mind.

"Y-you did this … to yourself."

"Yes," I say quietly, avoiding his eyes.

"Why?" There's something about his voice that causes me to look over at him. His eyes are glassy and I realize what I heard in his voice. Benny, my best friend, was trying not to cry. I stare at him before answering.

"Do you really wanna know?"

"Yes Ethan! Whatever's wrong let me help you…" his voice dies off as he hesitantly lifts his hand and drags it lightly down my arm. I hiss from the pain. He glances at me before scooting closer and running his hand over the top of my shoulders. I can't help whimpering some as his hand continues over my exposed chest and arms. "Ethan." His voice is barely a whisper but I hear him. I face him and he's frowning at me. His hand stopped on my arm.

"Benny, I'm sorry." He stands up and pulls me up with him, turning us to face the mirror. I avoid his eyes as he looks at me.

"Ethan, why did you do this to yourself? Why?" I just look at my reflection with a frown on my face. "Why would you intentionally do this?" I take in my reflection, see what he sees. From my neck down to my waist, I'm covered in cuts; all along my arms, my wrists, my sides, and up to my collarbone area, some bigger than others, some redder than others. I just sigh as I grab my shirt and slide it back on.

"I've been so … empty lately. I feel so void of emotion. This brought back some of my emotions. I just can't seem to stop." I sit back down on the floor and wince as some of the cuts feel too tight on my skin. "If I'm not empty, I'm depressed. I'm so depressed Benny. I just can't take life anymore." I look up at him and see him just staring at me. He sits next to me and wraps an arm around me, pulling me to him.

"Ethan, let me help you. I'm your best friend. You don't need to be alone right now. I'm staying all weekend and we'll work on this and try to figure out what's got you so depressed. You don't need to suffer alone anymore E, I'm here okay?" I just nod and lay my head on his shoulder. I know he won't give up until he helps me. I curl up next to him before a whispered "thank you" escapes my lips.

…

**Benny's POV:**

I don't know how long we sit there, but I notice how Ethan's breathing becomes steady and even. He's asleep. I turn my head slightly to look at him and can't help but feel scared for him. What got him so depressed that he did this to himself? The sight of all those cuts on him, knowing he did it on purpose, just hurts me. I'll do anything to help him. He's my best friend. I frown again before I hear the bathroom door open. I turn to see a sympathetic looking Sarah.

"Benny, are you guys okay?" Sarah asks, staring at me. I just shrug, so she turns her gaze to Ethan's sleeping form next to me, his head on my shoulder and my arm around him still. Instead of the expected embarrassment of being caught in the position we were in, I felt something that I could only describe as anger and … jealousy? Why am I jealous? Just because Sarah has been staring at Ethan for like 5 minutes is nothing to be jealous over. I quickly push that thought out of my mind. As for the anger, she walked in on a private moment. Who wouldn't be angry at that?

"Well Benny, I just put Jane to bed and was about to watch a movie. I wanted to see if you two wanted to join me but he is out like a light so I guess that's a no huh?" she said, eyes moving back to me, almost reluctantly it seemed.

"Yeah, I think I'm gonna try to wake him and get him to bed, he's been exhausted. I'm just gonna stay tonight too, can you tell his parents when they get back?"

"Of course." With that, she left us alone. I glance at Ethan's peaceful sleeping face before gently shaking his shoulder. I try not to notice his somewhat shallow breathing as I whisper to him.

"E, buddy, wake up. Come on E." The only reaction I get is him snuggling closer to me, lips barely grazing my neck. For some reason, I can't help but shiver at the contact. Briefly I close my eyes and wonder why that affected me so much. I must be cold. That's all. I quickly shake my head, clearing my mind, before looking at Ethan's sleeping face again. "Come on, wake up." I shake him gently again before his head turns again, this time face turned up. It feels like my heart stopped. I can't stop staring at his face. What is wrong with me? I just turn my face away, forcing myself to breath normally. Finally, instead of attempting to wake him, I just slowly stand up, Ethan in my arms, bridal style. Luckily Sarah had left the door open.

As I walk up the stairs with him in my arms, I hear Sarah walk behind me. I don't bother turning around, not wanting to drop Ethan. "Open his door for me?" I ask over my shoulder. She doesn't respond, just opens the door before stepping out of the way.

"He's really tired isn't he? Is he okay?" I just look at Sarah as I lie him down on the bed, not sure if I should tell her what Ethan showed me. I decide not to, it's his problem, not mine.

"I honestly don't know. This isn't the first time he's fallen asleep on me today, literally. Earlier we were watching a movie and he fell asleep, head on my shoulder, just like you saw in the bathroom."

"I wonder why he's not sleeping well."

"Probably just exhausted from school and fighting the supernatural. It takes a lot out of us mortals."

"I suppose you're right. I just hope he'll be okay." For some reason, hearing the concern in Sarah's voice sent me into jealousy again. I just shake my head, hoping to shake the feeling away. She sees me and raises an eyebrow at me. "You okay Benny?" I just nod, forcing a small half smile on my face. She seems to buy it and heads back downstairs to wait for Ethan's parents. As soon as the door closes my smile falls. I lean down to where my lips are almost against his ear before speaking.

"Ethan, buddy, please be okay. I need you, you're my best friend. I'll help you through everything. I'll be here through it all. I promise. Goodnight." After that, I set up my place on the floor, changed into my pajamas and watched Ethan until I finally fall asleep.


	4. Stay With Me

**Ethan's POV: **

_*Ethan's dreaming:*_

_I open my eyes to find myself lying on the floor of the school hallway. After getting up slowly I realized I'm alone. What am I doing here? Last thing I remember is talking to Benny in the bathroom at my house. I just shake my head and walk around, intending to leave. Once I get to the front doors they won't open. I look around, hoping to find an open window or back door or something. Nothing. Looks like I'm stuck here. Everything's quiet until I hear a loud bang come from the direction of the cafeteria. I take off in that direction. Once there, I look around, seeing nothing. I just shrug and decide to sit down at one of the tables. Before I can though, I hear that sound again. Looking around, I still see nothing. Then, all the lights turn on, brightening the cafeteria. I look to see someone sitting at a table on the other side of the room, away from me._

_"Hello? Who are you? Can you tell me why I'm here?" I call to the mystery person. I see whoever it is nod then walk towards me. My eyes widen as they come closer and I recognize them. "Rory? What are you doing here?"_

_"I'm here to tell you the truth."_

_"Truth about what?"_

_"No one likes you Ethan. You're nothing to everyone. Me and the girls just put up with you for Benny's sake, but Benny told us the truth. He wants nothing to do with you anymore."_

_"Benny's my best friend! We've been friends for years. He would never say that."_

_"I'm his best friend now. You've been replaced." Before I could speak Rory transformed into Erica._

_"I see the way you stare at him. I may make jokes about you two being too close, but understand this. Benny is mine. He wants me, not you. He could never want you the way he wants me. I'm always going to be more important than you are."_

_"Benny's my friend. Our friendship is the most important thing to him!" I lose confidence as Erica smirks at me._

_"Benny doesn't care about you. He has me and his new best friend Rory. You are nothing to him." I open my mouth to retaliate when Erica changes into Sarah._

_"I thought you liked me Ethan. But instead you replace me with Benny. I can't believe you!"_

_"Sarah, Benny's my best friend, and you've never showed any interest in me that way."_

_"Well you know what Ethan? I want nothing to do with you. I want Benny. And he likes me too you know. And now that his friendship with you is over, he can have me. No one wants anything to do with you! You are all alone!" _

_"Sarah!" As I scream her name, she disappears, leaving me in the cafeteria alone until I feel someone grab my shoulder from behind. I turn around to see Benny standing behind me._

_"Benny! Please tell me what they said isn't true!" I ask, franticly grabbing for him. He just steps away, sneering at me._

_"Don't touch me. I want nothing to do with you. You are nothing to me."_

_"No Benny! You promised me you would always be there for me and that I wouldn't be alone anymore! Benny!" _

_*End dream*_

"Ethan! Wake up E!" I jolt awake to a worried Benny sitting next to me.

"Benny? Wh-what happened?"

"You were screaming my name. Did you have a bad dream or something?" My eyes widen as I remember the dream. I'm so relieved to see Benny's still here, with me.

"Benny!" I say, grabbing him in a tight hug. "You're here."

"Of course I'm here. What did you dream about E?"

"My dream doesn't matter right now. Stay here though. Please."

"I'm staying at your house all weekend remember? I told you I am not letting you suffer through this alone."

"I know you're staying here but … can you please just stay _here_?"

"Wha- Oh. You mean here, with you?" I just nod. My face must show how scared I am because he nods. "I'll sleep on top of the blankets okay?" I nod again before scooting over, allowing room for him to lie next to me.

"Thank you Benny," I say, yawning. I open my eyes to see him smiling at me.

"You're welcome. Goodnight."

"G'night," I mumble, closing my eyes and letting sleep overcome me.


	5. I'm Sorry

**Benny's POV:**

I wake up to arms wrapped around me and sunlight in my face. Opening my eyes I look to my side where Ethan had cuddled up next to me. To be honest, I'm totally caught off guard with what I'm feeling. Instead of feeling awkward that Ethan is using me as his personal pillow, I felt … happy. Now why would I feel so happy that my guy best friend is snuggled up against me, another guy? I honestly don't know. But I would be lying if I said I did not enjoy waking up this way. I sigh before shaking Ethan's shoulder.

"E, wake up." He squints at me then smiles one of the biggest smiles I've ever seen on his face; then his eyes widen when he realizes the position we're in and jumps away from me.

"Sorry. I'm gonna go shower," he says, grabbing clothes from his closet and dresser. "I'll be back in a few minutes." I just nod and watch him practically run to the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. I just shake my head and grab some of the clothes I keep over here and change in his room. When I'm done I settle back on his bed and wait for him to get out of the shower.

**Ethan's POV:**

After washing my hair and body, I'm just letting the water pour over me for the moment, before I decide to do what I actually came in here to do. I know Benny's gonna hate me for this, but I have to do it. I need to feel again. I bite my lip as I bring the sharp razor against the skin on my upper chest area, near my heart. I wince as water washes over my fresh cut and washes the blood away. I learned after the first few cuts that doing them in the shower gets rid of the evidence and stops the bleeding faster. I turn off the water and get out, grabbing my towel. Before even drying off, I press it to my newest addition and pull it away, smiling a grim smile as I see no blood appear on the gray surface. Quickly, I dry off and throw my clothes on, heading to my room.

_I'm sorry Benny_, I think as I walk head towards my room. _I'm so sorry._

…

**Oooh nooo Ethan don't! What's Benny gonna say when he finds out? I honestly have no idea yet. I'll try to finish this soon though, among the others I am/ will be posting. Hope you all like this. Sorry it's not like my other stories.**

**Thanks for being such great readers and supporters of my stories everyone.**

**-JustMe133**


	6. Don't Do It Again

**Look at that, updating another story! Go me! Hope that you all enjoy this :)**

**Update date: 1-29-2012**

**Sorry if it's kind of … random? That's the word. This chapter is really random.**

…

3rd person POV:

Benny looked up as Ethan entered the room, a strained smile on his face. Benny instantly became suspicious.

"Ethan," he said in a warning tone, eyeing his best friend, "What did you do? I know that look on your face. That's your guilty face."

"I-I did nothing," he said, avoiding the other boy's eyes.

"Liar."

"I-I'm not l-lying."

"Then take off your shirt," Benny said, standing up and striding towards his best friend.

"W-what?"

"Take-off-your-shirt." Ethan just nodded, slightly scared by the look in Benny's eyes and the tone in his voice. He kept his eyes closed as he took off his shirt. He heard Benny's intake of breath and knew he noticed it. "Why? Why did you do this?"

"I-I needed to feel Benny. I'm so so sorry." Ethan's eyes shot open as he felt gentle fingers caress his new cut. He looked into Benny's eyes, which had turned a dark green color as he just watched his fingers brush the cut. Ethan just watched with curiosity in his eyes as Benny stooped down until he was eye level with the cut on Ethan's chest.

"Benny!" Ethan squeaked out as he felt gentle lips kiss the cut over and over again.

"Please don't ever do that again," Benny mumbled against Ethan's heated skin. "Please."

"I- I'll try not to."

"Is that the best I'll get from you?"

"Yes."

"Fine," Benny said, kissing the cut one more time before standing back at his full height. "But please. Next time you feel like doing that, tell me first. I'll do whatever I can to help you not do this again." Ethan just nodded and slipped his shirt back on.

"I really am sorry."

"I know."

"C-can I ask something?"

"Sure E, what's up?"

"W-why did you … kiss my cut?" Ethan watched as Benny stiffened then looked at him.

"Honestly? I have no idea. I just thought you could use the affection. It didn't mean anything." Ethan just nodded and smiled at the taller boy.

"Well thank you."

…

Benny POV:

Why the hell did I kiss his chest? Why why why why why why why? What's wrong with me? I'm not gay, yet I really enjoy feeling his skin underneath my lips. This is crazy! I AM NOT GAY! But … Ethan didn't complain did he? This is crazy. There's nothing wrong with me and him. We're just close friends. I'm sure that's all. Nothing else.

…

Ethan POV:

Why did I enjoy feeling Benny's fingers on my skin, or his lips on my skin? This is crazy. As I argue with myself, my thoughts go back to my dream. Benny leaving me. Could I possibly…? No. No no no no no no no. Absolutely not. No way. We're just really close friends. I would be nothing without him. Friends only. Nothing else. I rub my hand over the cut, since it began to itch. It takes all my control to not scratch it and make it bleed some more. I can't though. I promised him.

Although I really wanna feel the blade slicing through my skin again… One more time couldn't hurt could it?

…

**Oh no, is Ethan gonna do it again?**

**I still don't know if Imma pair Benny and Ethan up or not. When I started writing this story, I really didn't plan for it to be like that, but now … it's possible. **

**Like I said in the intro note, this chapter is just random.**

**I hope my dear readers liked it. Sorry it's so … random is the best word lol.**

**-JustMe133**


	7. I Can't Lose You

**Yay another story is getting updated! Two days in a row for this one too! Go me –starts dancing happily- Haha. I'm such a dork. Sorry you guys :)**

**Please read and I hope you guys enjoy it**

…

Ethan looked up as a hand clamped down on his wrist.

"Stop," Benny said in a deep voice, eyes that dark green again.

"I wasn't doing anything."

"You were rubbing it, which meant it itched, which made you think of doing it again."

"H-how do you know what I was thinking?"

"Dude, we've been best friends since we were six. I know you well enough now don't you think?"

"Uh-huh," Ethan's eyes moved down to the hand still clamped down on his wrist. He wiggled his wrist some, moving it so Benny's hand was now around his own hand. A light blush began on his face as he looked at Benny, who looked back, each staring into the other's eyes.

"Are you okay?" Benny asked, concern in his voice.

"Yeah," Ethan squeaked out, eyes wide.

"Good," Benny said, kissing Ethan's forehead gently. "You better stay okay. How about we go get something to eat?" Ethan nodded, still in shock from Benny kissing his forehead. Benny let go of his hand and headed down the stairs towards the Morgan's kitchen, Ethan behind him, thinking.

_He kissed me again. I really liked it too…. Am I gay? I don't think I am. I mean, I'm crazy about Sarah, aren't I? __**Your dream wasn't of Sarah leaving you**_**,** his conscious said, mocking him. _But Sarah's hot. I don't think Benny's hot. I mean, he's good looking, but hot? No. __**Then why are you wondering what it'll be like to kiss him on the lips?**__ Shut up conscious. You don't know what I'm thinking. __**Yeah I do. And now you're wondering if you're crazy, that's why you're arguing with yourself **_**[A/N: I do this all the time. Am I crazy? … I don't think so… lol]**

Ethan looked up as they entered the kitchen, watching Benny as he set out some stuff for cereal. _I wonder what he's thinking about._

_Dammit why did I kiss him again? I like Erica, and Della, and CATWOMAN! I have no desire to be with Ethan like I do them. __**Then why would you always touch him? Or be close to him? Why did you kiss him?**__ Damn conscious, you're crazy. __**I'm not the one arguing with himself.**__ Actually, in a way you are. Anyway, I don't think Ethan's hot. Not like Erica. Or Della. Those girls are … damn sexy. Ethan … is cute. I'll admit that._

"You okay?" Ethan asked, breaking Benny out of his thoughts. He looked up and met the worried eyes of his best friend.

"You're worried about me?"

"You seem really tense. Did I do something? Is it my fault?"

"No E, you didn't do anything. I'm just worried about you."

"I told you I'm going to try to stop. I don't like you worrying about me."

"You're my best friend. I'm going to worry. I don't like you hurting yourself."

"I know."

"Hey. You never told me what you were dreaming about last night. Wanna talk about it?"

"No."

"Oh. Okay."

"Sorry. I'll be right back."

"Where ya going?"

"Bathroom," Ethan watched Benny tense and look at him. "I seriously need to use the bathroom. That's all. I swear." Benny nodded and watched Ethan walk away.

"Please don't hurt yourself again. I wouldn't be able to stand it if I lost you."

…

**Aww they feel the same! They don't wanna lose each other. I'm thinking I'm gonna make them get together. Still iffy on it. **

**Yep that's the end of this chapter!**

**Update Date: 1-30-2012**

**Hope you all liked it! Reviews are love! **

**Peace to all!**

**-JustMe133**


	8. A Date?

**Yay update time!**

**Updated: 2-1-2012 :D ; Posted: 2-2-2012**

**In this chapter, we see a little bit more of the possible Bethan relationship bloom! Yay for Benny and Ethan! Since all my dear readers are saying they totally need to get together :D**

**This chapter is probably going to be short. I guess I'm just a short-chapter type of person.**

**Still don't own anything. Pointing that out for everyone. **

**Hope you all like this chapter. **

…

Ethan soon returned from the bathroom, looking the same as when he went in. Benny smiled, glad to see his best friend doing okay, and not hurting himself.

"So E," Benny said, sitting out some stuff for Ethan to have some cereal, "I was thinking, how about we spend the day outside? You know, sunshine, fresh air, just us spending some time together, no monsters, no vampires, no supernatural stuff or anything, just us. Sound good?" Ethan looked surprised, his thinking face soon taking its place on his face.

_Just us… like a date? IS BENNY ASKING ME ON A DATE?_ "That sounds like fun. Let me eat and then we can get ready," he says, smiling at the slightly taller boy, who beamed back at him.

"Great. If you don't mind, I'm gonna go take a shower while you eat. Please don't do anything while I'm gone."

"I won't."

"Good." _He said yes. It almost feels like a … date. AM I GOING ON A DATE WITH ETHAN? _

…

As Ethan finished his breakfast and went to his room to change, his thoughts drifted to Benny. _He's so good to me. Even when I keep trying to hurt myself, he's just so … Benny. I still wish he hadn't figured it out, but I have to admit, I knew I was gonna get caught eventually. Better him than mom or dad, or worse Jane. Then I'd be poor from paying her to stay quiet… _He shook his head and frowned at his closet, trying to find something to wear for the day. _Stupid tall boy didn't say where we were going today._

"You okay E?" Benny asked, stepping into the room, running a towel through his still damp hair. Ethan looked up at the already clothed boy.

"Yeah, I'm okay. Just trying to figure out what to wear." Benny smiled at the obviously flustered boy and walked over towards the cluttered closest.

"Wow dude. You really need to clean this thing sometime," he said, laughing and reaching in, fumbling in the over cluttered closet for a shirt and a jacket for him. "There. Is this good?" he asked, holding them up for the shorter boy. Ethan eyed them and nodded, smiling. "Good. Find some pants and meet me in the living room," he said, plopping down on Ethan's bed and putting his shoes on.

"Okay," Ethan said, watching Benny shrug on his jacket and zip it up, disappearing out of his room. _What's he got planned?_

…

"So where are we going?" Ethan asked as the two boys started walking outside. Benny looked at him, a smile on his face.

"How about the park? It's been a while since we went there."

"Sounds good." They walked in silence until they got there. Luckily it was empty, just them. Ethan watched Benny run to the swings, excited. "You are such a kid."

"You are never too old for the swings E," Benny said, stretching his long legs in front of him as he sat down and began to gently swing, watching Ethan intently. Ethan shook his head but came and sat next to his friend, swinging gently as well. As a few minutes, Ethan got a thoughtful look on his face, watching Benny who swung happily.

"Hey Benny," he started, watching his best friend stop and look at him. "Y-you remember the dream I had last night? That caused me to wake up screaming your name?"

"Yeah…"

"I-I'm ready to talk about it," he whispered, standing up and walking towards a bench, sitting down and watching his hands in his lap as Benny came to sit next to him.

"You don't have to."

"I want to." Ethan looked up at Benny to see him watching him, waiting. Ethan nodded, more to himself than anything, and began to speak.

"I was at school. I heard something, so I went towards the cafeteria since that was where I thought I heard it from. While I was in there, I saw someone. It turned out to be Rory. H-he told me that he and the girls only put up with me for you, but that you told them you wanted nothing to do with me, and that he was your best friend. Then he changed into Erica, and she told me that she would always be more important to you than I could ever be. Then she changed into Sarah. She said she wanted to be with you and that you wanted nothing to do with me. Then she left. And I was alone. Then you showed up… You told me –pause for breath- you told me you wanted nothing to do with me too," Ethan finished, tears welling up in his eyes as he stared at his hands. He stiffened as he felt arms around him and a gentle voice in his ear.

"Ethan, you will always mean more to me than anyone. Don't forget that." Ethan nodded, a few tears slipping out. Benny reached up and wiped the tears away, kissing his friends forehead again.

"Thank you."

"Anytime E. I'll remind you all the time if you want. You will never be nothing to me."

"I-I know. Thank you Benny." The two boys just looked each other in the face, Benny's arms still around Ethan, and their faces were inches apart. Benny rested his forehead against Ethan's, smiling at him.

"You feel better telling me that?" Ethan smiled back.

"Yeah."

"Good. Ready to head back to your house?" Benny asked, standing up and holding his hand out to Ethan, who happily took it and stood up too.

"Yeah, let's go." The two boys walked back to Ethan's house, holding hands the whole time, each thinking the same thing.

_There's nothing wrong with holding hands with your best friend is there?_

…

**Yay cute ending! I think this chapter turned out good yes? Hope all my dear dedicated readers liked it!**

**I would do that thing where you say thank you "username,username,&username," but that would be A LOT of user names lol, so I just say … THANK YOU EVERYONE! **

**Seriously, you guys make my day brighter when I see your reviews and story alerts and all that good stuff.**

**Peace and love my friends!**

**-JustMe133**


	9. What's Wrong With Me?

**Talking to some people on here, I realized I'm old -_-. Oh well, not letting that stop me from doing what makes me smile. Hope you all like this chapter. We got more self-hurt in this chapter.**

**Updated: 2-3-2012**

**Please enjoy.**

…

Ethan POV:

We held hands the whole time to my house. Shouldn't I be freaking out? I mean, I don't like guys… But it just felt … nice holding his hand. Our hands fit so perfectly together… What's wrong with me? I just shake my head, looking up at him. He seems to be lost in his thoughts. I feel the need to cut again. I know I promised him I wouldn't do it. But I have to. Sorry Benny. As we enter my house, I look at him.

"Hey I gotta run to the bathroom, be right back," I say, letting go of his hand. He just nods and walks towards my room, not stopping me. It dawns on me then. He trusts me enough to not do it again. Knowing that and knowing I'm about to break that trust makes me want to cry. As I walk into the bathroom and grab my razor, the tears begin to fall. I quickly lock the door and take my shirt off. "I'm so sorry Benny. I hope you can forgive me someday."

I gasp as the blade slices over my skin. I mutter one thing with each cut. "Benny..."

…

Benny POV:

I walk into Ethan's room, kicking off my shoes and taking off my jacket. I stretch out on his bed, thinking about our day at the park and what he told me. His dream… was of me not wanting him basically. That's a lot to take in. How could he think that? He's my best friend. I would do anything for him. In fact, he's the most important person to me. I don't know what would happen to me if something happened to him.

"You mean so much to me Ethan. Please be okay," I whisper out loud, thinking. I glance at my watch and realize he's been in there for about five minutes already. "Shit." Running to the bathroom, I bang on the door. "Ethan! Ethan! Are you okay? Open up!" I hear a gasp from inside. "Shit, shit, shit!" I say, banging on the door. I try the handle, and of course its locked. Thinking quickly, I mutter an unlocking spell, smiling when the door opened easily. My smile falls as I see Ethan huddled in the middle of the bathroom floor, blood pouring from him.

"Ethan…" he says, tears forming his eyes. Ethan looks at me blankly before speaking.

"Benny…" he mumbles, frowning at me.

…

Ethan POV:

I must've gone numb. I didn't even hear Benny come in. I look up to see him staring at me, tears forming in his eyes.

"Ethan…" he says, staring at me. I just look back, all the emotion gone.

"Benny…" I mumble, watching him, a frown showing itself on my face. He runs to me and knocks the razor out of my hand. I watch it skid across the floor, leaving a thin trail of blood. I'll need to clean that.

"Ethan," he said, running to me and looking me over. "Why? Why did you do this again? I thought … I thought we were making progress."

"Benny… I just … felt like I needed to. So I did. I'm s-sorry," I say, emotions flooding through me along with the pain. "Ow. Benny… these really hurt. They haven't hurt this badly before," I say, pressing my hand against the cuts on my stomach, trying to stop the blood flow. Benny comes up to me with a towel, moves my hand away, and presses it against my skin.

"Let me take care of you, please Ethan." I just nod, lost in thought. Benny's so good to me, even when I do something like this. I frown as he wipes my cuts clean and bandages them.

"Benny… I'm so sorry."

"Ethan," he said, looking at me. "Please. Don't ever, and I mean EVER, do this again. I … I like you too much for you to do this. You … you mean everything to me. You're my best friend … I … I need you. Please, please, don't do this again." I just barely manage a nod before he hugs me gently. I wrap my arms around him as well, trembling.

"Benny… I… " I can't get the words out. I look at him and he smiles at me.

"I know," he says, kissing my forehead gently before placing his own against it. "I know." He watches me and a thoughtful look crosses his face.

"What?" I ask.

"Don't hate me," he whispers, leaning forward and gently brushing his lips against mine before pulling away. "Please don't hate me," he says, the fear obvious in his eyes. How can I hate someone who looks at me with so much love in his eyes?

Wait, _love?_

…

**Aww, Benny kissed Ethan! How adorable was that? I say majorly adorable!**

**But Ethan hurt himself again : ( Not cool Ethan!**

**Well, hope you all liked this chapter.**

**This is JustMe133 saying, until next time dear readers, until next time…**


	10. I'll Always Be Here

**So, this chapter could possibly the end of this story, I'm not sure, guess we'll see. **

**I just wanna say I am so thankful for all my dear dedicated readers. I write not only for me, but for you all as well.**

**Updated: 2-4-2012**

**Enjoy.**

…

Benny POV:

I don't know what compelled me to do that. He just looked so scared and like he needed me and I … kissed him I mean, barely. I just really brushed my lips against his quickly, not really kissing him. But I still did it. And now he's sitting here, looking at me, and I can see the shock in his eyes. Oh God, I ruined our friendship forever. Oh no.

"I'm sorry," I say, freaking out. "I'm so so so so SO sorry Ethan. I-"

"Why?"

"What?"

"Why'd you kiss me?"

"I… I don't know. I just … I'm sorry."

"Benny…"

"No Ethan, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that!"

"Benny! It's fine. Seriously. It's … fine."

"Ethan … I …. I'm sorry."

"Benny, really. Quit apologizing. In fact…"

"In fact what?" I ask, looking at him.

"I liked it," he whispers, looking at me. What?

…

Ethan POV:

"You … liked it?" he asks me, clearly surprised. I nod slightly, not looking at him.

"When you … kissed me, for that brief second, I felt … everything. All my emotions came back. I haven't felt like that in … well a long time."

"I … made you feel?" I just nod, finally looking at him. I smile as I see the relief in his eyes.

"Yes. You made me feel. Thank you." He smiles at me and gently puts his arms around me.

"I… I liked kissing you." We share a smile before I pull my shirt back on.

"Lets get this mess cleaned up." He nods and stands up, helping me up as well. After cleaning up the blood on the floor and decided to wash the towels we bloodied up, we were sitting in the living room, not really talking.

"Ethan… is everything okay between us?" Benny asked, looking at me. I just smile and reach over and hug him.

"Of course. I'm just thinking."

"Do you mind if I ask what?"

"How I need to get rid of my razors. I want to quit, for good this time."

"What brought this on?"

"Knowing you'll always be by my side, always there, will make it easier I think."

"I'll always be here Ethan, you know," Benny said, reaching over and grabbing Ethan's hand.

"I know. Benny…"

"Yeah E?"

"Will you kiss me again?"

…

**Yay end of chapter! Yes, this chapter was uber-short. That happens.**

**But… I liked it. It was … interesting to write. Don't ask, I really don't know what I mean either.**

**Well, hope you all liked it!**

**This **_**could**_** be the end… But I think I can maybe squeeze another chapter out of it… or just leave it like this, I'll let you (the reader) decide.**

**Thanks for reading!**

**-JustMe133**


	11. I've Always Been Yours

**This story too, is coming to an end. I think. I thought that on the last chapter and decided that I could get another one out of it, which is what this one is.**

**I have no idea how this chapter is going to turn out.**

**Hope its good.**

**Updated 2-7-2012**

…

"_Will you kiss me again?"_

"What?" Benny asked, shocked by what his best friend asked.

"Kiss me again?"

"Ethan…"

"Please Benny. Please," he pleaded, looking at Benny with wide puppy dog eyes.

"E… are you sure?"

"Please." Benny scooted closer and pulled him towards him. Their lips were barely touching before Benny spoke.

"Do you really want me to kiss you?"

"Just do it already!" Benny slammed his lips onto Ethan's then, kissing him hard enough to make the shorter boy pull away and gasp for breath. "Th-thank you," he mumbled, trying to catch his breath. Benny smiled and laughed quietly.

"Welcome."

"Benny…"

"Yeah?"

"When you kiss me, I can feel my emotions come back."

"That's good right?"

"Yes. So I was going to ask…"

"Ask away."

"Do you mind kissing me?"

"Ethan, I wouldn't have kissed you in the first place if I didn't like it."

"Then… I'm going to sound selfish here, but … will you be mine? I… I can't handle it if someone else takes you from me. You're all I have left."

"Ethan… No one can take me from you. I'm yours. I've always been yours."

"Thank God," Ethan said, collapsing in Benny's arms, silent tears streaming down his face. "I hope you don't mind that I'm so broken."

"I'll put you back together. No matter how many times it takes." Ethan gave Benny a small smile as the taller boy wiped his tears away.

"Why… why are so good to me?"

"Because your mine. I told you I would always be here for you, and I meant every word."

"Benny… thank you."

"Anytime E. Now, how about we get rid of those razors?" Ethan nodded, allowing Benny to pull him into the bathroom. "Now where do you hide them all?" Ethan moved around the bathroom, pulling out all his razors. When he had found them all, there were 20 laid out, all different sizes and some obviously older than others. "So many…"

"Yeah… I don't want to throw these away."

"You need to E," Benny said, pulling the shorter boy into his arms. "It's better this way. Trust me."

"I do trust you… What if I want to cut again?"

"If you feel the need to cut, call me. No matter what time, day or night."

"Benny. Thank you. For everything."

"Ethan," he said, smiling at the shorter boy, "You're my best friend. I'll do anything for you."

"Just best friends?"

"I'll be whatever you need me to be."

"Mine. That's what I need you to be."

"Like I said, I've always been yours. Now, lets throw these away and watch a movie. Sound good?" Ethan nodded happily and they trashed the razors together. Once that was done, the two boys made their way to Ethan's room, hand in hand. Once the movie started, Ethan was curled up against Benny's side, yawning.

"Benny," Ethan said, voice slowly getting muffled by the sleep he was so desperately needing, "Promise you'll always be here."

"Like I said, I'm yours."

"Good. You're all I have. I can't lose you," he said, trying to keep his eyes open.

"You'll never lose me."

"I love you Benny…" Ethan mumbled, sleep claiming him. Benny watched the sleeping boy for a minute before speaking, voice barely a whisper.

"I love you too Ethan. I hope I can make you better," he said, leaning down and kissing Ethan's forehead before lying down and getting comfy next to the shorter boy. "Because you're all I have too."

…

**The end.**

**Yes, end of the story. But, like AFLR, there could possibly be a sequel to this. I left a good enough ending that there could be one, or not. Really depends I guess.**

**I want to say thank you to everyone who's read this and reviewed. Every single review makes me smile [except for 2 bad reviews, stupid people.]**

**I hope everyone enjoyed this story. I think it turned out pretty good, don't you?**

**Also, sorry this chapter/ending was so short. That happens though. **

**Love to you all**

**-JustMe133**


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